Sunday, 5:00 a.m.
Falls Church, VA

That damn screaming alarm shakes me from the previous nights's hangover. I stagger to the bathroom. I drag a comb through my hair and beard. Check my bags, one last time. I Jump into my bitchin' jalopy, heading to BWI Airport, I turn on "Rock Alternative," WHFS 99.1 FM. The overnight DJ sounds as foggy as I feel, but I quickly settle into the driving groove of "Rage Against the Machine."

I'm on my way to Beaverton, Oregon to bring back Mr. Happy's newest sauce flavor, "Maui Wowie."

My flight lands in Portland, Oregon at 1:45 p.m. I fight my way through baggage claim and find my way to the car rental counter.

Sunday, 10:30 a.m.
Gallatin, TN

Don awakes to the soft mild mannered voice of the beloved manservant, Jeeves. "Sir, sir. I have drawn your bath. It is time for you to prepare for your journey. I have selected your wardrobe, pressed your clothes and packed your bags. You mustn't keep Mr. Happy waiting!"

Don finishes his bath and enjoys a leisurely breakfast with the Gallatin Press, early edition

Don had made time to join Mr. Happy in the great northwest, in search of the newest flavor, Maui Wowie. "The car is waiting, sir," announces Jeeves.

They make there way to The Gobutton.com airfield. Don pilots the corporate jet, himself. It's just too inconvenient to fly commercial airlines. "Fly with the masses, never!"

Our transportation for the trip, a new Lincoln Towncar. We spare no expense. After all we will be meeting the people that helped to make Mr. Happy's over-the-top tasting sauces and marinades the best in the USA. They need to see and experience Mr. Happy's commitment to excellence!

The first thing we do is head for the Wooden Chicken Pub to watch the Super Bowl. I was tipped off to this place by one of Portland's biggest Party Girls, Jodi Ann.

She recommended the place, said she had only been there once, but she had a good time. Said that their fish n chips were "Excellent!"

She was rather mysterious about , how we would know her. "Don't look for me, I'll find you."

We arrived first. As luck would have it, there was one table left. The Wooden Chicken Pub is a great neighborhood bar with dance floor, two huge big screen TVs and endless ice cold draft beer.

Don and I were ready for some cold beer and to see the Baltimore Raven open up a 55 gallon drum of "Whoop-Ass" on the New York Giants. By now, I sure you know that we were not disappointed.

She and a "friend," Mike, agreed to meet us there. All of a sudden, there was a roar in the crowd. The entire Wooden Chicken Pub erupted, "Hey Jodi!" We turned to see this cute little package walk over to our table. "Hi boys, welcome to Portland."

Seemed innocent enough. We had a lot of laughs and a great time on Super Bowl Sunday in Portland, OR.

Little did we know what was in store for us in the next 72 hours.

There's more. . . Excellent!